I awoke this morning with this word rolling around in my head; however, I cannot recall the thought attached to it.
Finding my voice in the veritable ugly days of a harsh season is like one of those dreams when you try to run but its like you’ve got lead feet. In this stretch of ugly days, I’ve felt indirectly expected to shove the ugly out of sight and carry on for the sake of others, keeping them encouraged as they wade through a time of discouragement.
While it has often times been the case that encouragement falls from my mouth like pearls—which is not boasting of anything that I do in my own flesh but of what I have been given in Christ, the gift of exhortation—the discouragement I experience remains like a ring around my eyes. From my perspective, its more like the lamp is shut up tightly in a basket under the bed when it ought to be out on the stand.
Temporal. Eternal. Real. True.
My thirty-seventh birthday came and went recently. It was a fairly non-descriptive one too—mostly comprised of birthday salutations on my Facebook page. I cannot help but wonder if most of those posts were made out of a knee jerk reaction to an alert of birthday notifications. But, no matter, it was the most celebration I experienced throughout the day and I was thankful. I avoided replying to or answering about how the day was going because it was the first time that I can recall ever wanting to say, “It sucks. My birthday sucks.”
I didn’t feel like comparing discouragement like its some sort of contest to find who has the most reason to be discouraged. I was tempted to do so because different voices in my life have indirectly taught me to think that my cares are less than by remarking things like, “Yea, but you could be laid up in the hospital in a full body cast,” and other worse than scenarios.
I am reminded that temporal circumstances and feelings, however real, are not eternally true. Its a needed reminder too. I believe the stretch of ugly days I continue to experience can end, here and now; but, if they do not in this temporal state, I know that they will in the eternal days of a glorified body yet to come.
Jesus is faithful and true. I will holdfast to Him—my veritable eternity.